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[20 Apr 2006|10:24pm] |
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4/20
not only for weed guns and hitler anymore :)
i love you.
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[14 Apr 2006|12:59am] |
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she really brings the best out of me :)
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[12 Apr 2006|09:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ? |
] |
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music |
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SoCo |
] |
away with these nightmares
away with suburbia
shake down away
you marry a role and
you give up your soul til you break down
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[11 Apr 2006|09:17pm] |
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hardcore butterflies. every fucking time.
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[10 Apr 2006|06:59pm] |
its where you want to be
it's where you want to be.
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[10 Apr 2006|06:35am] |
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i love my friends.
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[04 Apr 2006|09:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
finnnnne. ill admit it.
im addicted.
happy? :]
he definately needs to go on a business trip and never come back.
i could be with my friends 24/7, but i cant stand a minute here.
it sucks hardcore.
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[31 Mar 2006|06:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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upset |
] |
| [ |
music |
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straylight run |
] |
And oh, the awkward ways,
That you recoil when I get close,
And oh, the awful grin,
That greets me when I know I'm wrong,
So down on hands and knees,
Choking, gasping, dripping spit,
I just can't make good on any of these promises
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[31 Mar 2006|04:52pm] |
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Blame it on the weather, but I'm a mess
And this February darkness has me hating everyone
And I know I need your comfort, but this drama makes me sick
And the longer I lay here I know it's harder to get up
without you
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[29 Mar 2006|11:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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James Blunt |
] |
you know.
as much as it sucked to say.
it was good to get all the emotion out.
i still like her, but i know nothings gonna happen.
and if someday it does. thatd be amazing
but i guess this is what moving on feels like.
it still feels weird. but, i know this is what my life is right now.
i cant keep working myself up about it.
because if we were really meant to be together, then someday it'll happen.
if we weren't then it wont.
it sucked to realize it. but im glad shes still here.
shes my best freind in the world. and always will be.
reading she has a crush didnt hurt me? which is really suprising, due to my jealousy issues.
i was happy for her? thats whats strange.
im sure if i see her with somebody, itll be tough at first. but thats to be expected.
maybe i wasn't meant to find true love through all of this.
maybe the fate of it all was finding the greatest friend in the world.
maybe im realizing all this because im finally not letting my heart take control of my life.
my heart wants her back, my heart wants to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much i love her.
but my head is moving on, and its weird. but its probably a good thing.
part of me doesnt want to get over her, but part of me knows its right.
i still love her, but thats not gonna change.
shes my favorite, and im gonna love her forever.
shes like family to me, i never had anybody to turn to in my life due to my brother having a disability and the age gap with me and my sister.
but with her, shes my age and goes through the same things i do, and is like the family member i can turn to because she knows what im going to.
i dont regret going out with her one bit. it was the greatest time of my life, and im ready to take all the love i have for her to a different level.
im ready to move on and im ready to get over all this.
i gotta take my life for what its worth.
thank you for teaching me what love really feels like. even if it wasnt meant to be forever.
i got to experience it, and i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world.
i dont know how to not end this akwardly, like without some sort of final thought.
but i guess i could end it with the quote thats been running through my head the last few days thats helped me come to this realization. and come to accept my life for what it is right now, even if its not what i truely want.
"its only after you have lost everything, that you are free to do anything"
i'm right back where i started before i began dating her. but i'm a better person due to the time i was with her. you affected me more than anyone ever has in my life, and continue to do it to this day. your still the part of me that was missing, and whatever role you play in my life, you still help complete who i really am. and i couldnt thank you more for that. i love you, and i mean that more than anything ive ever said in my life.
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[29 Mar 2006|03:38pm] |
Wait until it fades to black
Ride into the sunset
Would I lie to you?
Well, I've got something to say
Grab your six-gun from your back
Throttle the ignition
Would I die for you?
Well here's your answer in spades
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[28 Mar 2006|02:36am] |
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i love my friends :]
i had a fucking blast tonight.
fuckin raptors.
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[26 Mar 2006|10:45am] |
hey if nobodys doing anything today, i dont have work?
give me a call :]
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[25 Mar 2006|01:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 worried |
] |
i wish i was strong enough, i wish i was anyone but me, tonight.
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[24 Mar 2006|02:56pm] |
whos still licensed to drive by the state of illinois?
:)
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[24 Mar 2006|11:04am] |
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if i get my license taken away i swear to fucking god, im gonna kill someone
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[22 Mar 2006|10:55pm] |
i never knew or ever thought when i met her, i would fall in love.
when i was dating her, i never thought this would end.
after its ended, i never thought id still be in love, and fall for her. after everything she says, and does, and the way she looks at me brings me to my knees.
i know this is love. i understand the feelings arent mutual but ive never been so sure of what love was. up until i met her.
i know im in love. i know i am.
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[22 Mar 2006|07:35pm] |
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it's love, and she likes to make it hurt
________________________________________
dont bother trying to regret this.
i promise im moving on (i promise im moving)
step two press the rewind.
stop saying this was all for nothing
my chest keeps collapsing and i keep buckling at my knees.
dont walk away
we cant let this pass us by.
they all never could appreciate you half as much
they never offered half as much.
their never gonna love you as much as i do
when i know its love its love (its love).
its like its a sign written from the stars.
and all the broken bones and cuts and scars
never hurt nearly half as much as (half as much as) this
dont walk away
we cant let this pass us by.
they all never could appreciate you half as much
they never offered half as much.
their never gonna love you as much as i do
will the heartbroken please take the floor?
will the opposition please take its seat.
hes never gonna love you half as much as me
hes never gonna love you
(i cant quite forget about you)
hes never gonna love you
(i cant stop dreaming about all you are to me)
hes never gonna love you
(he's never gonna love you)
half as much as me.
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[22 Mar 2006|07:20pm] |
*scream*
please, just let this day be over.
ugh.
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